A while ago Ed Vielmetti, yeah- the walking guy, grabbed a bunch of questions from 103 Bees and answered them in his blog. See, 103 Bees mines your blog's search-hit history and analyzes it in various ways. One of those ways is to give you a list of direct questions people have asked and, for whatever reason, Google (usually) has directed them to you. Also, usually these questions are no where and in no way answered in your blog.
Many times these questions are outright insanity and you stare at the results trying to figure out how they made it to your blog in the first place. But, nonetheless, through the great mystery that is "relevance" there they are. Unrelated questions driving traffic to your site.
I thought Ed's use of the questions would be a great way to get rid of writer's block. Well, today I'm working from home. My back patio is lined with spring plants waiting to make it to the ground or into containers and I have writer's block.
So I'm going to take a few questions from my list from 103 Bees and answer them for real. Yes, these are real questions real people asked a search engine and somehow found their way to Jim Benson's blog.
Question 1: How do I get oblivion without using a torrent?
I am assuming anyone who would ask this question does not actually want to buy the game Oblivion at full retail, and is not asking how to obtain actual oblivion. Lucky for you, the Internet includes eBay, a quick search gives you Oblivion on three platforms (XBox 360, PS3 and PC). The lowest price here is a penny. I think you can suck it up and pay a penny for something you really want.
Question 2: How do I draw a couch {facing forward}?
A lot easier than you would facing backward. But if you were looking for a how-to... First, draw a rectangle that is about 4 times as long as it is high. Now on either end at the bottom draw a little square (make sure they are both the same size). Now on top of that box on either side draw an upright rectangle that's about twice as high as it is wide and is about the same height at the original rectangle. Now, at the top rectangle to the left draw a line going up a little bit, now make another line going up that same amount from the far side of the of the right rectangle. Now join those two rectangles. If you did that right it looks like a couch. If you did that wrong, I suggest you look directly at the front of a couch.
Question 3: 48 laws of power how to read?
I'm including this question because I actually see it fairly often. I wrote a pretty crummy review of the book and left it at that, but many people have come to the site with searches like this. How do I read the book? I'm scared of the book? Does the book corrupt people? Is the book accurate?
The 48 Laws of Power is an historical look back on how people of immense power obtained and lost that power. The overarching principles of how to influence, manipulate, and hoard in the quest of power. I've had people tell me that they would not read the book, lest some of those lessons actually rub off on them and they would become bad people.
In my opinion, it's a great book and I've used lessons in it to actually avoid falling into the same traps as those who have allowed others to be manipulated. Ultimately, though, understanding "bad" is a primary key of becoming "good".
We can see many people in the world of "good", from Jerry Falwell to Bill Clinton, who have pontificated "good" and did "bad" and were honestly surprised by it.
The 48 Laws of Power aren't all "bad", however, many can be mustered in the true service of "good". Much like drinking, many of the 48 laws are helpful in moderation, harmful in over-indulgence.
As for "How to read?" I would say that the 48 Laws of Power is not a how-to manual, but a book of lessons. The are delivered in as amoral a manner as possible and it is up to you to fill in the moral lessons.
Be your own Gandhi.
Question 4: What should be the conclusion of Ubik?
Philip K. Dick's Ubik is also a major search engine hit for me. Ubik is a story of pattern matching and the bewildering nature of misinterpretation. Some of the characters in the book are dead. We're not sure which ones or how dead they actually are. A mysterious substance called Ubik may provide relief from this state. But what is Ubik?
PKD uses all sorts of vehicles to foist Ubik upon the characters and the reader. Some people know about it, sometimes it's a snack, sometimes it's a cleaning solution.
Written in 1969, Ubik also is fully aware of Marshall McLuhan and the saturation of push-advertising. Each chapter starts with a gratuitous advertisement for Ubik - each time Ubik is performing an entirely different miracle solution to common problems.
Ubik, in the end, is about corporate control. Over our choices, over our flows of information, and ultimately over how dead we can actually get.
Or at least that's my conclusion, anyway.
Question 5: How many people have read being and nothingness?
Millions of people have read Being and Nothingness of their own free will.
But I suggest you read No Exit.
Question 6: What happen when city planning goes wrong?
Hmm.
For redlining see Detroit.
For all else see every suburb in North America.
CLOSING
Okay, so there we have it. I skipped these questions:
how do rabbits brains work - (three brain lobes, hopping, carrots, bunnies)
how do street dealers work - (cell phones, guns and bling = profit)
and my favorite
how do I know that my wife likes women? - (as opposed to hating them?)
I skipped those among others. I have about 40 of them I think.
Blogged at my house in Seattle with Live Writer
